Thursday, June 18, 2009

File under S for stupid

Teen sues over face tattoos, says artist put extra star tattoos on her face while she was sleeping

Um.

Okay...

So - here's the thing. I may be stating the bleeding obvious, but I have a few issues with this. Let's explore:

  • Okay - I personally don't get the whole tattoo craze thing - but if you like it and want to permanently decorate yourself with something that's going to look like fresh hell when you get old, go ahead! I support you.

  • Don't tattoo your face. Only crazy people and musicians tattoo their faces. And hookers. Hookers on dope.

  • Who SLEEPS through a tattooing session??!??! Are you narcoleptic? Do you randomly drift into slumber while some person with a sharp electric face poker needle thingie is repeatedly jabbing your face?

  • Even if you are not a musical hooker on dope, don't you think that fact that YOU and the ARTIST who is about to repeatedly jab inked needles into your FACE during your nap DON'T EVEN SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE IS A PROBLEM!?!?!?

  • I tried Babelfish for a while but can't seem to find a language to language translation turns "3 stars" into "please turn me into a circus freak."

  • 56 stars. Tattoos. Needles. Damn, woman, you must have been tired.

  • I guess musical hookers get pretty tired some times.

  • Hey - she might have a future playing that animated musical hooker - Jem? Remember her? She was kinda cool, And had stars on her. Sometimes. And I think she was modeled after a foreign singer who actually might not be able to say "3 stars" in her language without being immediately anesthetized and scarred for life either.

  • But she'd have to dye her hair pink. Let's hope her hairdresser speaks the same language. I can see it now:

    "I'd like my hair dyed pink, please." (in foreign language of course)

    (what stylist hears)"I am very tired and would like to nap in your attractive styling chair. While I slumber, please use your sharp implements to make me male."

4 comments:

Bob said...

I have six tattos, and I love them.
That said, I have NEVER fallen asleep while getting one.
Never!
Even when they're doing them on your face you have to hold your head a certain way, and then move it for the next one.
Asleep? No.
High as a kite and passed out. Probably.

Travis said...

Very funny post. Let's hope she can hold a tune for her musical hooker future.

I have 4 tatts, varying from large to small, but am yet to feel even remotely sleepy whilst being inked. Slightly (and weirdly) turned on, yes, but sleepy, never.

Serves her right for falling asleep. Could have been worse, he could (and probably should) of tattoo'd a dick on her forehead like some drunk passed out at a frat party.

Diederick said...

She needs a shrink, not a friggin' lawsuit. And what she on that she passed out while NEEDLES were continuously pinching her!?

AerialPJ said...

OMG...You leave Jem alone...She's truly outrageous...and I have the first 2 seasons on DVD to prove it.

Marring my childhood musical icon ("Showtime Synergy") aside...I was CRYING over this...who is that stupid???