Yo momma got technology....

Oh, boy - here's a site I just discovered. And I've been laughing my ass off all morning.

It's called "Postcards from Yo Momma" and features reader-contributed snippets of e-mails, text messages and instant messages from mothers and grandmothers to their kids and grandkids.

Here are a few that had me rolling:

All I can say is that I've never been gladder to have parents who have not quite fully embraced new technology over the telephone.

Enjoy!!

New Music

Just discovered this artist - and I can't get the CD fast enough. He's got a great voice and a great vibe. And a little something special...

Matt Alber:

So it begins...

So - we decided that since we can't afford to remodel the kitchen this year, we'd at least make it more livable and less "ghetto" with a new paint job. I say ghetto because to accommodate the new refrigerator and range we purchased a while back, we had to rip out a bunch of the old knotty pine cupboards surrounding the old appliances.

In doing so, we revealed YUCK that had been covered for more than 50 years, including sooty, stained walls - possibly from as far back as when there was a wood cooking stove in this kitchen.

BLAH!



We've decided to paint two walls of the kitchen "Wine Barrel" and the remaining two an antique white. We also have a small nook/pantry area that used to have a small dinette in it - that, we're painting an old favorite for contrast - Martha Stewart "Deep Linen." Friends who remember our house in Vallejo, CA know that color from our living room and from the Vermont house in the office and front hall.

We're trimming everything out in Cinnamon Cake, below.

P.S. Don't you love how teh Gayz don't just say "a brownish white" - no. it's Cinnamom Cake!! I can still remember the colors of the walls of our last house: India Trade (Pumpkin), Honeydew (Bright green), Knightly Straw (Yellow/gold), Sunset Boulevard (Deep purple/red), and Russet Rose (Deep orange/red)....silly gayz.

Anyway, what we didn't know or remember being told is for such a dark color, you need a tinted base primer. In this case, our primer is a sickly Raspberry-Pepto Bismol color that - combined with the black and white tile surround behind the stove makes the kitchen look temporarily like a Baskin Robbins ice cream parlor in HELL.



It's work in progress and will take a few days to look really, really good.

But thank God this is something we enjoy doing together and we know how to apply all the right tools to make it as painless as possible.


Cheers!

SWOON!!

Even in 2009, who's sexier than Morrissey?


Morrissey "All You Need Is Me" from Patrick O'Dell on Vimeo.


God - I have loved this man for years - George Clooney, you have nothing on this.

ZOMG!! WANT!!

Roller disco, zombies and confusing the elderly

I know - that's quite a title.

But it's the only one I could come up with that even came close to the experience I had yesterday at the local grocery.

Now - I normally don't venture out much during the day when I work from home. I am surrounded by too many doctors' offices, clinics and pharmacies in my neighborhood to dare to try to get anywhere. Why do I do this? Two words.

Elderly drivers.

Yeah, yeah - I know. It's not cool to complain about the elderly. It's called 'ageism. or some damned thing. And I know - we're all getting older and that will be me one day in the not too distant future.

But I'm going to Hell anyway, so screw it.

I just have a real problem trying to run out on my lunch hour and being delayed by Claude and Mazie as they vapor lock in an intersection, or having to dodge Aunt Irene in her enormous Oldsmobile as she attempts to park across three time zones.

Anyway - I decided to break my own rule and snuck out to the supermarket at lunch time - largely due to a serious case of Mother Hubbard syndrome. And B was getting mighty tired of me trying to make a panini out of everything - since all we had was bread and lots of weird leftovers in little containers. I figured if you press it and melt it all together in the panini pan, it just seems more exotic.

So - off I went to the local Hannaford store (more affectionately known by our circle as the "Ghettoford" due to its unfortunate proximity to numerous group homes, a laundromat, Off Track Betting and a dollar store).

The Ghettoford by day resembles that scene in George Romero's Dawn of the Dead film where the zombies are shambling around the ice rink while the automated announcements and tinkly shopping mall Muzak continues to play.

The patrons shuffle slowly yet with determination to ensure that they find exactly what they need in a timeframe that will allow them to still get home while the sun is up....before the hoodlums, thugs and sexual deviants come out to do their grocery shopping.

This day, however, something was off. It didn't occur to me right away - but something was definitely .... hinky.

And then it hit me...as I was standing in the soup aisle, considering which microwaveable soups truly offered the best value - and trying to remember if it was the Healthy Choice brand that B said was "filmy" and tasted like ass.

Over the loudspeaker system, that venerable disco classic "Jungle Boogie" began to play LOUDLY. And I realized that what I had been listening to previously was another of the disco-funk-roller disco genre - like the oh-so-sexy-hip-grinding-and-moaning "Love Hangover" or something.

The music was so loud and so bass-driven and insistent, I thought perhaps I had died and ended up in a really tacky celestial gay bar - or perhaps (god help me) a roller disco.

I fully expected to see some metallic hot-pants clad tootsie with a white girl afro on roller skates come dancing down the aisle like some kind of bizarre "Xanadu II: Condiments and Ethnic food."

I paused to determine whether I smelled toast thereby indicating I was having a stroke. Nope.

Then I happened to glance to my right - where I saw the 4'2" owner of a metallic blue coiffure in sensible shoes attempting to crawl into the soup shelves. She looked frightened - almost hunted. Her eyes seemed unfocused and confused as the primitive rhythms assailed her.

I completed my soup selection and proceeded down the aisle where I saw another elderly patron. This gentleman appeared to be engaged in something very like airplane spotting as he rotated slowly in the aisle, his eyes scanning the vast ceiling....looking for what, I don't know.

As I rounded the corner, I spotted a few younger folks - say, 45-55 years old - bopping and singing along (as I suddenly realized I was). We smiled and nodded to each other - almost feeling like this was a great joke that only we got.

And then - "Shining Star" by Earth Wind and Fire replaced Jungle Boogie.

Hilarious.

I continued to see the dazed elderly attempting to function and shop amid the driving beats. The store employees were having a great time - bopping and bumping, swaying and lipsynching.

I don't recall all the songs that were played - still, at full blast - but they included:

• Play that funky music white boy - Wild Cherry
  
• Tell me something good - Rufus
  
• and - perhaps best of all - Love Machine! by the Miracles
  

It was during Love Machine that I happened to be coming through the bakery area where the Peets coffee is located. And I saw two of the sweetest old gents you'd ever want to see - each at separate cafe tables sipping coffee, one reading a paper.

And bless 'em. They were foot tapping and head bopping - completely out of time with the music. Completely oblivious.

I dodged a couple more stunned shoppers and headed for the checkout - with the cheesiest grin that lasted all through the rest of the day.

I need to go out during the day more often. I had no idea it was this much fun.

For your consideration

Mr. President

Madame Secretary


Yes we can.

It's finally here

A new day for us all - 'nuff said.