Monday, November 30, 2009

Friday, November 27, 2009

Today's word: Thankful

 thank⋅ful   [thangk-fuhl]
  feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

I would TOTALLY be thankful for this.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A holiday break

Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to take a break from the work-a-day week and get some practice in for the big holiday season coming up.  Time to reflect and celebrate the fact that a few hundred years ago, we brought our syphilitic, alcoholic, barbarian asses across the Atlantic and destroyed entire native civilizations and species.

Yay - go us!!

But it's an excuse to stay home, cook, drink and spend time together.  We're eschewing the big family and friends get-togethers this year, and staying home in our pajamas instead.

On the menu today - some traditional fare and some not so...
  • 40-garlic-clove duckling
  • Spicy sweet potatoes, roasted
  • Traditional homemade cranberry sauce
  • Roasted brussels sprouts
  • Sausage apple dressing
  • Homemade pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream (from my very own pumpkin!)
  • A 2006 Artesa pinot noir
Hey - any holiday that finds me in the kitchen drinking grey whales (also known as the madras cocktail  - vodka, cranberry and orange) at 10 am is good with me.

And we'll be staying put at least through tomorrow - Black Friday - when Americans lose their minds over a select few sale items being offered at ridiculously low prices and then stampede and kill each other - where usually the store security guard or employee is the casualty.

Nuh - uh - none of that for this boy.

To my American peeps - if you are traveling, be safe.  Celebrate smartly - don't become a statistic.  Have a warm and happy holiday.

And to everyone - no matter where you are - I am giving thanks for all of us being able to communicate, laugh and share. 

Hug your loved ones, send a message of cheer to someone, and give thanks that we're all here.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A gross inequity

It appears that many other countries are getting much better cough drops than we Americans.

We should look into this immediately.  And bring munchies.

First - we have honey soothers in Thailand which apparently take possession of your body against your conscious will.

And then there's this frightening commercial in which a Japanese business man apparently gives rapturous birth to half-breed dookie-dookie birds all over his boss's desk.

And hey - in Peru, it just isn't a party without cough drops. Let's play and sing and get high on eucalyptus!

In which I am lain low.

Okay. I am far from being the most sympathetic guy in the world.

I admit that, readily and freely.

I've fought my way up for years and earned everything - everything I've ever achieved has been through through sacrifice, sweat and naked ambition. To me, the inability to succeed is a sign of innate weakness - a sign that one is one the wrong side of the Darwinian equation.

I sneer at foibles and perceived weaknesses. I fail to understand the underachiever - the wimp - the loser. To me, organized religion and Dollar Stores are naught but shattered temples to those who have given up on life and are subsisting on the wrinkled, dried-out teat of society.  They mingle under the feeble flourescents, this refuse, reeking of spoiled milk, nicotine and regret.

I sneer at food warning labels. Who the hell in their right mind can't ingest a little bit of gluten or survive eating a freaking peanut?

And yet...

And yet...

Cottage cheese may be the end of life as I know it.

You see - for years, I have hidden my own personal shame. Privately, it has humbled me - shamed me for my weakness. Made me shy away from the light of the Dairy Queen drive thru.

You see - I am...

I am...

I am...lactose intolerant.

There - I've said it.

For years I have been forced to shun breakfast cereals swimming in their milky brine - eschew the allure of silken yougurts - forego the sensual pleasures of milky is my shame and my curse.

And yet - and yet - every once in a while...I forget.

I forget and perceive that I am normal and whole.

Like tonight.

I was foraging in the refrigerator for a late night snack that would be satisfying, yet healthy.

I spotted the cottage cheese. "Aha!" says I - "something that will benefit and sate me yet will not cause me regret upon the morrow!"

Right.  BIG mistake.

You damned fool.  You should have opted for the apple.

Now - now - I am a Clive Barker movie, a grotesque, replete with other-wordly noises emanating from my person.  I feel like Jabba the Hut if he had eaten the flaming Hindenburg and then been jumped on by bears - big bears.

As I write this, I am chugging a diet soda in hopes that it will - in the words of my forebears - "kill me or cure me."  The aftermath does not bear reporting.

Pray for me that I survive the night.

I will lay in bed and writhe and make unusual sounds - all the while, cursing the dairy gods and all their yummy temptations.

And then, one day, I will forget.  Again.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I feel so...violated...

It's hard to believe, but someone tapped into my fragile subconscious and created a mash-up of two of my adolescent favorites. I can remember watching the TV show religiously right around the same time my best friend and I were cajoling our parents to let us attend rock concerts.

We were under age for both concerts.

Honest to god - I have dreams like this.

I may never sleep again...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Made me laugh

+ going to hell already, so WTF.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I feel pretty!!!! And loved!

I'm putting my prettiest dress on today and celebrating!

Having just noted that Bob over at I Should Be Laughing is celebrating his well-earned first "blogiversary," I realized that I had no idea how long this little blog has been around.  I've never really paid attention or thought about it.

I actually had to go and look at my very first post.

It's been 3 years and change.  Damn.

I've rambled on about corn dogs, weird animal people, remodeling, dogs, politics, Eartha Kitt, Amtrak, illness, crack-addicted drag queens, heterosexuals and God knows what else...

And - amazingly - apparently a lot of people think it's worthwhile checking in here.

I'm honestly impressed and extremely flattered.

And there's only four followers whom I know personally (that I know of) - the Cray3s (Hi, Deb, Duane and Hayden - xoxo to you in Gator-land), my first and still fabulous girlfriend from Jr. High - Judy, and my lovely co-worker, Second Life playmate and friend, Louisa.

And last but definitely not least - there's Peter J who is early-mid 30s, gay, adorable, successful, working on his Masters, and currently available - plus he lives within staggering distance of my house - BONUS!  

Ah - many's the time I've stumbled that three blocks up the hill - once apparently wearing my v-neck sweater as a kilt.  As I recall, that preceded an ugly, ugly New Year's Day.  Blah.

So - bidding for Peter J's blog and email addresses starts now.  Hurry people - we're trying to get him married off to someone that both he AND other people like (his most recent ex went by the names of 'Bitter Smoothie' and 'Pumpkinhead') and time is running out.

Email me.  I'll make things happen.  ; )

But back to business.

I may not always recognize you or thank you - but it really means the world to me that you're here.  So - edder, Lou, Bob, Kyle, Stan, Paul, kys, Ginger, Lori, Al, Fernandez, AesopSioux, BoyInterupted, Mauro, kys, HungaryBoy, Little Ms Blogger, y78ilm, Peter, Rob, Louisa, John, Larry, Relatista, April, Tisha, Doug, David, Damien, Dade, Sasha, Gary, Mean Dirty Pirate (xtra smooochies for you baby), Diederick, Judy, Trav, Elizabeth, Jinnaben and Donna - and the rest of you (yes you, Matilda - love to you and T-Bone!) who take the time to visit and/or share your comments here...

This one's for you.



P.S.  Creepy little cuss, ain't he?

Boy finds his own E.T.

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Monday, November 09, 2009

A message to NOM

"Vote for Gay Marriage and We Will Fund a Primary Challenge."

WASHINGTON – Following up on its successful campaign to defeat Dede Scozzafava in NY-23, The National Organization for Marriage’s (NOM) Executive Director Brian Brown announced plans to build a $500,000 war chest to fund a primary challenge to any Republican senator who votes for gay marriage – regardless of the outcome of Tuesday’s vote in the State Senate. 


Hey, NOM.

What terrifies you so much about two people who love each other wanting the same rights and protections under civil statutes as heterosexual couples?

What aren't you telling us?

I mean, as a spokesperson, you have Maggie Gallagher who bore and raised a child out of wedlock - a sin punishable by death in most of scripture and still is in many today's most extreme devout religions.

Don't get me wrong, please.

I know many noble women who have bucked societal trends and bore and raised a child of their own out of love.  Maggie - you do them a disservice through your lack of compassion and your lack of love for your fellow human beings.

You use the traditional right-wing picture of "the family" as a weapon when you hardly have a sterling example to set.   You're about as credible as Bristol Palin advertising purity rings.

You slovenly fucking cow.  How dare you tell me what right I have to protect and care for the one I love?

You don't know me and you have no Christian attributes I can link directly to scripture.  Why don't you take your pasty-ass face out of my state and focus on your own damned life?

And Brian Brown - honey, what are you hiding?  Have you so little self-esteem or confidence that you feel threatened by gay men loving one another?

You've got total gay face, just like Ted Haggard and that bastard preacher in Arizona - the one who thinks gays should be executed.

Come out, come out....wherever you are...just saying.

I've met a hundred men like you - hiding behind their religion (or their inadequacy) to make a mark on history

We know you're just a front man for the Mormons and the Catholic church. 

I live for the day when your charade is exposed for what it is - an attempt for organized religion to have a political voice.

I won't be happy until you are exposed and those branches of "religion" find themselves subjected to government taxation and scrutiny just like any other political organization.  That'll take some of the wind out of your bigoted sails.

Get out of my state and out of my life.

You sad, pathetic bastards.

We will win in the end. 

You are simply dinosaurs, writhing in the tar pits of your own eventual extinction.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

La reine des potages

Brian informs me that I have indeed retained my title as the Queen of Soups.


A gorgeous day ... for cooking!

Well, it's been a fabulous weekend here at Chez Dupree.

It's been sunny with tons of blue skies - and slightly warmer temperatures.  In the mid-50s yesterday, upper 60s today.

My less-than-a-year-old washing machine was finally fixed on Friday after being out of commission for two weeks.  You have no idea how much you take your appliances for granted until they stop working.  So, today was all about catching up (yesterday was all about drinking a lot of vodka and not doing much but play computer games, hit the local grocery for a few necessaries, and watch Ab Fab re-runs) and it looks like every garment we own is now pegged out on the lines.

While Brian was out in the yard today - and also washing down the front porch before the winter snows (our house is white + we live near schools with diesel schoolbuses = filthy exterior) - I was in my culinary happy place.

Between laundry loads, I managed to whip up a chicken apple and leek soup - it sounded just strange enough to be delicious and it is.  Here's a recipe similar to the version I made - but my recipe called for adding 3 Tbls. of Calvados, which - of course - I didn't have in the house, so I threw in some Drambuie in the final few minutes of cooking, along with the heavy cream.  The end result - simply incredible.

I find that I increasingly drawn to more rustic styles of cooking, as opposed to the more complicated, finished and streamlined dishes I used to favor.  It seems simply a more honest and,  frankly, more relaxing way to cook.  Especially in the Autumn and Winter months, when you can cook things slowly and allow flavors to meld.  There's also a certain satisfaction in hacking something seemingly impenetrable into bits, knowing that in a few hours, it's going to be transformed into something velvety and lovely in your bowl.

So, it's no surprise that - after the success of my soup for lunch and a few more chores and loads of laundry under my belt, I was back in the kitchen dissecting a lamb shoulder for Irish stew. 

When I was at the grocery yesterday, I found a lovely 2.6 lb lamb shoulder that had been reduced by 30% because the meat had begun to darken.  DUH!  That's the absolute best kind of meat to cook with - so I snapped it up.  I used to have a great aunt who refused to buy meat that didn't look like it had any age on it - pinky red and fleshy?  Not for her.  She wanted the edge of a stank on it.  And her food was always insanely good.

Anyway, I chopped up my last leek and a huge onion, chopped up four gnarled carrots, plucked some fresh rosemary and thyme from the garden (a pub proprietress in Ireland once told me, "when it comes to Irish stew, the secret is the thyme.  You can never use enough thyme in a good Irish stew.") and the stew is currently bubbling away in my oven, awaiting the addition of the potatoes.

And she's right - it makes all the difference.

Now if I could only find something similar to those floury potatoes they grow over there - there's nothing like that here - at least that I've found.

Ah well  - I have a lovely Italian red wine all ready to accompany that luscious lamb, and that will help me get over that for now.

Anyway - I hope you've had an equally wonderful weekend. 

Cheers - and happy eating!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Friday, November 06, 2009


Oh my god -this has epic WIN written all over it - I can't wait to see it.

  • Mariah Carey looking like a plain old Jersey girl without makeup
  • The utter vulnerability of the main character
  • What is supposed to be a potentially Oscar-winning performance by Mo'nique  as Precious' crazy-ass abusive mother.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Thank you JEBUS!!!

Carrie Prejean drops her lawsuit against the Miss California USA organization after it is revealed she has a sex tape!!!!

Oh please, lord - let it be true. 

That this bastion of Christian wholesomeness and the patron saint of heterosexual normality has been caught flinging her silicone tatas over some 'oily bohunk' on film. (bonus points if you name the movie!)

I imagine that Perez Hilton is in his dank and pungent West Hollywood studio apartment running in circles and giggling and clapping - his ripples of pink, hairless flesh jiggling and joggling in unfettered glee...

oh wait

I puked just then

Anyway - please let it be true Lord Jesus our saviour and I will promise not to fly out to NOM headquarters and slap and taunt Maggie Gallgher until she cries like the little unwed mother, nobody-wants-to-marry -your-bitter-and-ugly-ass-so-I-will-fight-against-cute-men-marrying-cute-men asshat that she is.


(no - the one with the sequins - they hurt more)


Send one!

Pissed off

Sometimes there's just no nicer way to say it.


* for our non-US friends, this is a total put-down.