Behold. The Blog.
Today's entry:
February, 2001 - Vermont:
- Snowboard lesson in T-minus 1.35 hours
- Broken ankle in T-minus 2.0 hours
I tried it because:
a. With 6 months of Winter, you have to do Winter sports in Vermont or you become a raging alcoholic -- or a news story when they find your body in the Spring.
b. I used to surf and I though it seemed similar. Nobody told me it was the equivalent of strapping a highly waxed coffee table to your immobilized feet and then plummeting to your doom.
Anyway, during the lesson - which consisted of me, Brian and about 25 six-eight year olds - one of my boot straps let go and as I was attempting to right myself after my 19th fall on my increasingly sore tail bone. The board wedged in the snow as I was turning over and I felt a sharp 'crack' and a blinding pain that cause me to loudly utter an entirely unforgivable word when surrounded by six year-olds.
I stood - shakily - secured by my boots, I had no idea what had happened - thinking I had simply sprained the ankle. I thanked the instructor and informed Brian that I was done and that he could find me in the lodge with a very large, very dry vodka martini. Or four.
I limped down the bunny hill with my head held high - yes, I can admit that without shame or hesitation. After all, I was adorable in my ski bibs and soon to be further adorned with a hefty cocktail glass.
Later that night, when the ankle began to blacken, we figured something was amiss.
The next day, I met my new doctor for the very first time. Her words of comfort and wisdom stay with me to this day.
"You DO realize there's an age when you simply have to quit doing this shit, right?"
Yes, doctor.
(But I ain't there yet!!)
Footnote: One day, when I publish my memoirs, I will further elaborate on living in the United States' snow wonderland while getting around on crutches. Let's just say I've seen the underside of my Volvo (pictured) at a gas station and the underside of my front porch there. Twice.
6 comments:
A broken ankle! Yikes! I sure hope that didn't require surgery and steel pins and all that.
Now that Greg and I have lost a boatload of weight we've actually been thinking about doing some winter sports, but after reading this and knowing our ages are 43 and 55, I think we'll pass.
Have you never heard the words, no good can come from this.
Tattoo them on your forearm if need be. Don't forget them. Refer to them often.
That's a cool photo DuPree, you have a great smile. I learned to snowboard a few years ago which is the only reason I can do it now as I certainly wouldn't be learning something like that at this stage of my life. One day I want to visit Vermont; actually I want to see the whole US.
i'm with Larry.....and Lori.
If I was meant to go sailing down a snowy mountain side with wood strapped to my feet I would have been born with wooden planks on my soles.
Ouch! I just took up ice skating as a kid. I chalk my stability on icy city surfaces up to that fact.
Never tried to ski, snowboard or things of that nature. Did water-ski a couple of times though.
And now that my left ear (and balance mechanism) are fucked, I don't think I'd want to even try that again.
Love your sense of humor. If you ever get out here (Colorado) try our slopes... you can fall a lot farther.
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