This evening, I had chicken on the grill, a fresh green salad mix freshly picked from the garden, and a lovely cous cous salad cooling on the counter.
And then it happened.
I first heard Brian conversing with our neighbor - and all I caught was "..it's the first time that's happened since we've been here."
Then he came into the back patio where I was and informed me that some man/teen driving a green mini van had driven by and shouted "faggot!" at him.
I was stunned. I was angry. And what pissed me off the most was - I was afraid.
I literally regressed thirty plus years back when people actually wanted to beat me up for who I was.
That word - that fucking word. How does it retain such power? In the space of twenty minutes, I wanted to cry, I wanted to beat the little bastard's brains out, and I wanted to install a home security system.
What the hell??
How does a word create so much emotional turmoil?
Because - unlike those who are fighting against us in marriage equality and in society in general, you're not going to shit your pants if I drive by your house and call you "Christian!" or "Conservative ass!"
Chances are, you're going to laugh, pour another highball and go make an eTrade that kills another 5% of the rainforests in South America or enslaves another third world labor force.
Meanwhile, people like me are being attacked, injured and killed all over the freaking planet.
Well, you know what - it's time to stop. Call me a faggot - sure - go ahead.
But be damned sure that I will prosecute to the limits of the law if you fuck with me or my family. Got it? And beyond that - you've never seen me angry. Ask my reprobate brother who was once pinned into a corner of his bedroom with the razor sharp shard handle of a softball bat pressed against his throat.
I waited for the van to return - I was ready. My BFF Peter has my bail money - I know this without asking.
It's 2011. Fucking evolve.
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